I want to be a Fairy

I've had a bit of a bad day today, for a number of reasons that I wont go into. There are just some days that make me feel crappy and I feel like a bad person.
I feel devastated that Paul Hester (ex-drummer of Crowded House) hung himself in a park in Melbourne on the weekend.He has two daughters, eight and ten years old. It makes me distraught that he felt there was no other answer for him in his life. I didn't know him personally. My heart goes out (I hate that phrase but I cant think of another) to his girlfriend and children. It is awful to lose a parent young, no matter what the circumstance. C & I both know about that.
I also got a razzing off my dad for not keeping in touch with him. I'm not sure why I neglect the people I love. I think it's laziness, my biggest vice.
On an up-note, C was wonderful to me today. He read me Harry Potter in bed and fed me licorice, diet-coke and blueberries and taught me a lot about unconditional love.
My daughter and I watched Fairytopia on DVD. She was so caught up in the magic and the beauty of it all. I want to live like a fairy! If only the magic was real. Sigh.....
We went to the open day at the local Steiner School on Saturday. In some ways it was like a fairy land. The classrooms were painted beautiful soft colours, the beams and windows were swathed in silk and chiffon. There were huge cushions, beautifully coloured chalkboard drawings and fanciful poetry. I wanted to go back to primary school and live in this dreamland. However, tomorrow its back to partitioned offices, computers, files and the anonymity of an accountancy firm.